#ConfidenceChat | The Band-Aid Effect, Approaching Insecurities & A Summer Pep Talk

by Holly Swasko in


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I made an offhand joke the other day to a friend that somehow led me to write this #ConfidenceChat... sometimes it can be the smallest things, ya know?

We were talking about the first few weeks of summer and how strange it always feels to start wearing shorts, dresses, and alllll the summer clothes out of the house again after a couple months of rough Chicago winter. We talked about how so many little insecurities suddenly resurface for everyone around this time of year and how as we come out hiding from under our safety blankets of leggings and sweaters, there are those days where we feel as though the world is staring down our every little imperfection.

During the conversation, I jokingly compared these first few weeks to "ripping off the band-aid." We laughed, called it relatable, and went on with our chatting. 

My joke seemed funny on the surface, but as I thought about it later, it began to reveal something deeper. Think about the last time you had to rip off a band-aid; that band-aid was stuck on you, and you were probably anticipating how much it was going to hurt to finally face it. The anticipation alone probably brought you more stress and pain for something that could potentially be over with and forgotten about in an instant. But still you dwelled, anticipated, and overthought the discomfort. 

I know. A little dramatic, but is this not a reflection of what we do with our own insecurities? We all have days where we stand in front of our mirrors dwelling over the things we hate. We all have times where we anticipate the judgments of others if we go out wearing this, or showing that. We all have overthought wearing a swimsuit to the beach. No matter where you're at on your confidence journey, we all have and will have those days!

But it's time that we break this band-aid effect. And that doesn't mean to just simply never think an insecure thought ever again. I'm saying that we must first acknowledge their existence but not get stuck dwelling, anticipating, and overthinking them.

Then, we must realize that 1.) no matter how stuck the band-aid is, that it's still not and will never be a raw, genuine part of the culmination of all the beauty that we are - both inside and out. And 2.) However obvious we think our band-aid is, chances are that it probably never even crossed the minds of others in the first place. 

So, finally, what do we do to make ripping off the band-aid less painful? We rip it off quick and don't overthink it. 

I could spend hours worrying about how a pair of shorts make my hips look or what others will think if I wear something that hugs my curves more than a baggy sweater does. But what do you do on days like this? You pay no mind to the what-ifs, and stay focused on the parts of yourself that truly matter. 

In other words, whatever insecurities you feel have a hold on you this summer, realize that it's all in how you choose to face them. Will you dwell, anticipate, and overthink? Or will you choose to step out this summer knowing that your substance is more than the fears your mind is pointing you toward?

Last thing. I was listening to one of my favorite YouTubers/speakers, Emily Wilson, do a live chat the other week. She brought up the amazing and honest truth about how there's a difference between finding confidence in something and rooting our confidence in something. 

Sure, we can find empowerment in dressing up - heck, that's what this blog is about! We can find joy and confidence in liking how we look on the outside - but we mustn't root our confidence in those things. Because on our blah-days - the days where we might not like the way we look - we will have nothing but shaky ground to stand on if that's what our feelings about ourselves are planted in. 

Root your confidence and have faith in knowing that you were made wonderfully and perfectly for a reason both inside and out. Think of all that you are; your warm heart, the kindness you have to give, the light you exude, your power you have to make others smile, laugh, and all of your special, unique gifts you have to bring to the table. Root yourself in and come to know how much you are loved and can be loved just the way you are. 

When you realize that there's more to you then the little flaws you stress over, you can rest in knowing that there is no band-aid on this Earth that can ever have a hold over you - this summer and all of the days beyond! Go out and make memories, have your adventures, and remember all the goodness that you are. 

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