Confidence Chat | Beyond The Numbers: Feeling Healthy, Finding Joy In Your Workout + My Confidence Story

by Holly Swasko in , , ,

Today on the blog, I'm bringing back the confidence chat; where I step away from the glitz and glamour for a moment to shed light and open up and share experiences about the relatable, everyday struggles we face that inhibit us from experiencing what Clothe In Confidence is all about: feeling your most confident self! 

Last time I did a confidence chat, I talked insecurities and shared my experience about how I tackled one of my own (you can read it here!) This time, it's going to be all about feeling healthy, getting joy out of your workouts, and opening up about something I rarely ever talk about; overcoming my past struggle with my weight. I'm by no means an expert. I'm just sharing my own experiences in the hopes of helping  anyone struggling with the same issues!


During my pre-teen/early-teen years, I struggled with my weight and mindless eating habits. In middle school, I reached my highest weight of 186 pounds. When I saw that number, along with pictures of myself at a wedding I stood up for, I felt as though I had to make changes. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight and become a healthier version of yourself, but part of my problem was that I was doing it for reasons that were heavily based on my appearance alone. That was it. 

Through the rest of middle school and heading into high school, I remember trying out the latest diets, bars, meal plans, and intense workouts, but I never stuck with any of these short-term fads because they were, well, fads! I got so frustrated at such a young age and I remember trying everything I could to shed any amount of weight to feel closer to looking "normal."

With that being said, I developed this love/hate relationship between me and excercise. There would be times where I would do these intense at-home workout routines everyday in order to burn calories and then there would be times where I'd go weeks without doing anything. Of course, we all have lazy days where working out is the last thing we want to do, but for me and I'm sure many others, it was much more than just pure laziness that had me going through these unhealthy cycles of on and off periods. It really was that my fitness and health journey became one big frustrating game of numbers and I became burnt out. 

I think that it happens to so many of us where were constantly focused and obsess over the number on the scale, the calories taken in, the calories being burned - our health seems to become a based on a bunch of numbers rather than how we feel both mentally and physically. That was my problem. I was working out to see the numbers go down and really nothing more than that. 



There came a day when I was in eighth grade, and I was sitting in my room looking for another dreaded YouTube workout - more specifically one that would burn the most calories. Browsing the fitness categories, I stumbled upon a channel I've never seen before - Blogilates. Knowing nothing about pilates, I decided to try out a video. While I was doing it, even though I couldn't do every single move perfectly at first, this workout felt different. Between Cassey's encouraging words, upbeat music, tied together with the focus of feeling good inside and out, I finally found something I liked... and so I stuck with it. 

I found that when I finally found something I enjoyed, I stopped obsessing so much over the numbers because it was something I genuinely wanted to do. It's like a career; if you really love your job, it becomes less about the money and more about your passion; everything after that will soon follow.

Slowly, it became less of what my body looked like but more of what it was capable of. This shift in mindset left me more fulfilled, motivated, and grateful for my health. I started to value a healthy lifestyle instead of one based on only on vanity. The pounds eventually came off throughout the years, but more importantly, I was left with a new perspective of self-care and what it means to be healthy, happy, and confident.


I'm not saying that you should feel guilty about caring about your outward appearance - everyone likes looking their best, because then you also feel your best! But becoming preoccupied with vanity over health and wellness may leave you feeling frustrated and unfulfilled. 

So start slow, blast some music, and find something you love. Whether that be at home, in the gym, or even outdoors. Think of it as your time to improve yourself and notice how good it feels to be strong, energized and worth so much more than just making numbers move. You got this!

So what's your story? How to you feel your healthiest self and find joy in your workouts? Feel free to discuss below, via my social media, or even by sending me a message! I'd love to hear from you!  

Until next time you can keep up with the latest by following me on social media linked below!